hi,everyone i have just recently joined but am hoping some of you can help me,the last few months my son as become a nightmare,he has mixed cpwith blindness,and uses a wheelchair most times, ,well the last few weeks is temper as changed at home and school,with bitting,hitting,screaming,etc,he goes to a special needs school.and one day out of the week goes to mainstraim,i think myself its frustration,hes a bright little boy.who up un till now was an angel,and let me and his phyiso do his exercises,which now he wont,his phyiso rang yesterday as she had a session with him at school but she had to stop as he got very upset and started bitting her,please if anyone as any ideas.i want him to know its wrong what hes doing even though with his cp,i dont want him to think its acceptable to do the things hes doing,as his brother would,nt be able to get away with it,thankyou in advance.

A couple of weeks ago I wish I had the number for Supernanny. My 4 year old has no visual impairment, but he's a full time wheelchair user. He is verbal but has problems articulating so he can be difficult to understand sometimes. He went in to a phase of being really naughty and challenging. He kicked one of his LSA's at school and headbutted another. At home he's been kicking me while getting him dressed. He was generally very moody. I noticed that he was particularly tired, so that didn't help, but I just put him to bed early (he wasn't happy about that either). Then I took him off the medication for his dribbling (glycopyrrolate) and that helped a lot. He's been much better since, but I'm still going to speak to a child psychotherapist soon at the CDC to see how best to deal with his frustrations.

I think that it's part of their normal age development that they turn into little monsters. The CP doesn't help. I think if my son didn't have CP, he would probably still do the same things, but he would be able to run away from me and jump on the sofa instead. I've told them at school to put him on the floor when he gets one of his 'crazies' and let him roll about. He is obviously frustrated from the lack of independence. He has a gait trainer that he's using more now, and that helps to tire him out. He's using his computer more and is starting to read, but he has his moments where he needs to express himself physically and that's when he does crazy stuff with his body and hits people while doing so.

It has helped to look at what might be causing his outburst. Maybe it will help if you did something similar? Look at his medication, how much sleep he's getting, is he getting enough physical challenges etc. And under no circumstances should you let him get away with anti-social behaviour! His disability is no excuse. I've made it very clear at school that my son should get 'time-out' like the rest of the naughty children.

Good luck!

Could it be that he's picking up on the behaviour of another child at one of his schools? Sometimes if another child is being quite disruptive or if a teacher is being quite strict with the class that can have quite an effect on them. Could he be having a growth spurt? Does he wear AFO's - otherwise known as devices of cruel and unusual punishment in our house - could there be some sort of physical discomfort? AFO's have been the single biggest issue of conflict here.

If there is an answer to the emense mental frustration that my son suffers I can't say that I've found the answer, but it does seem to come and go in waves and is usually triggered by something minor going wrong at school or falling out with a friend. It is comforting in a way though that my other kids get just as frustrated and upset as he does but with other things, like not being to fly like tinkerbell or not being allowed to do exactly what they want when they want. It's just that for my son the CP is an instant focus and he blames it, sometimes rightly and soemtimes wrongly, for everything that goes wrong with his life. He should be able to walk, talk clearly, feed himself and take himself to the toilet but he can't do any of those things and he has to live his life as he is. Sorry I've gone off at a tangent and that probably doesn't help you very much, but it felt good to write. While I'm on a rant, does anyone else get fed up with people telling you what a lovely happy wee soul your child is - sometimes I feel like saying" yes....he is just filled with joy at being disabled"?

But you're absolutely right you can't let him get away with it, but like Mafala says if the behaviour persists it may be worth getting some professional advice on that. It's always worth trying things like a good behaviour chart - a big reward for not kicking, hitting etc., or giving him an opportunity to vent his frustration in a controlled way - put a load of pillows on the floor for him to give a good kicking and let him get it out of his system. How good is his communication and understanding - would it be worthwhile sitting him down for a chat where you let me know you understand, and yes it isn't fair and some days are worse than others but his physio is there to help etc?

Good luck

SJ

Mafala , i heard that supernanny doesn't take on SN kids (not confirmed though)
i second what Mafala says,try to see what happens just before the outbursts and see if there's something you can do to prevent them,would you consider a sticker chart for good behaviour and a treat if he behaves better, i found this to work with Siobhan when she started to get naughty and cheeky, i really do think it's all down to frustration a lot of the time and to be honest i can understand why, i would really struggle if i were in half of these kids shoe's?they really are great kids to not be fighting and moaning constantly.
i hope you can get it sorted.
lots of love
evelynxoxo

hi,guys thankyou,for the replys i am going to keep an eye,on it hes had an outburbst at school again today at story time when he was in his chair and one of the other children walked up to him the other child as cp has well,well this other little boy tried to give zach a hug and zach bite in to his arm making it bleed,his teacher phoned i asked what she did she just said she said we dont bite good boy,she said she doesnt like saying no to him,i agree it is alot of frustration and he has little speech,hopefully we will get it sorted,yes he does use afos there like a swear word in our house.

My son with CP has just turned 16 and, I have to report, is not above the odd tantrum even now! I agree with what everyone else has said--see if you can spot obvious triggers and then stand your ground. With my son, being hungry, thirsty and/or tired are major stress factors for an outburst and given he needs to eat much more than other children and uses up much more energy there are a lot of potential flashpoints. When he was younger I always had a snack and drink in my bag and even now I still suggest regular breaks when we are out for refuelling.
The more difficult bit was/is getting him to stop behaving like this. Whilst his frustration is entirely understandable, it is not acceptable to lash out at all and sundry and no one likes a stroppy adult even if they will tolerate a tantrum in a child--ie I felt I had to persuade my son to behave mostly in line with how everyone else does in order to smooth his path through life. This is certainly not easy, and I have to say that at times I felt my son's behaviour was really monstrous. In the face of all the aggression it was hard to keep calm and keep pointing out that this was achieving nothing and, most importantly, was not the course to adopt. However, we did keep reiterating the message and while my son had a very sticky patch at the beginning of his teens, I would now say his behaviour is totally appropriate virtually all the time.
HTH
Pat

Hi

I'm new to the site and just posted my intro. I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have 4 year old twins one of whom has spastic CP and is blind. My daughter bites her hands and has bitten other people. This only started recently. We think it is frustration. I've noticed that she is worse when there is lots of noise to try and understand and its been suggested to us by Charlotte's VI teacher that it is sensory overload that often causes this type of problem. I've been trying to pre-empt noisy and stressful situations and have found singing distracts her from biting. Not practical all the time I know but it has helped.